Quote of the Day: Perfection
Tuesday, October 17th, 2006 @ 10:56 am
“The compulsion to be perfect, immediately and eternally, is one of the most profound causes of procrastination for the garden-variety human, and it most certainly gives each of us all the reason we’ll ever need not to even try.”
It is at this point that Allen slinks further and further down into his seat in the back of the classroom as he feels Merlin Mann’s eyes fixate on him and sear into his procrastinating little soul like dual lasers of burning accusation.
Quote of the Day: On Procrastination
Tuesday, October 10th, 2006 @ 2:42 pm
“The thing that is closest to your soul is the thing you’re going to avoid the most. The thing that will tap into the part of you that has not yet come to the fore but wants to be expressed, but you’re so afraid of it — you will absolutely find every single thing in your life to avoid doing that. And that… there is no trick about that. You just need to be aware of that. I think the awareness is somewhat curative and if you’re really aware that the things you’re going to avoid the most are the things that are going to scare you the most, that you might actually have to show up if that thing actually worked… That’s only going to be addressed by your wilingness to step up to the plate.”
— David Allen, Getting Things Done guru, in a podcast interview with 43folders.com’s Merlin Mann, discussing procrastination; ideas taken from the book The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
Executive Decision
Friday, May 26th, 2006 @ 11:46 pm
Brian sits down at his desk, turns toward me and looks me in the eye: “Holt,” he says. “I’ve got a bone to pick with you.”
“Oh, geez,” I think, assuming there’s some problem with one of the recent myriad architectural changes we’ve made to the system that’s causing him headaches with the stuff he’s working on. “What’d I do?”
“I’m making an executive decision about your life. I know it’s not really any of my business and not my place to make this decision, but… you’re going to stop writing about writing,” he says. “If you put the effort into actually writing something that you put into writing about writing…”
I cut him off: “Yeah, I know, B., I’ve heard that before. Many times, as a matter of fact. I’ve lost track of how many times Terry’s told me that. And c’mon, I’ve been writing some lately, I’ve wrote one scene the other night and then —”
“Good. So post it.”
“I — I can’t. It’d give too much away — that scene I wrote was way late in the story, it gives away too much of the —”
“Bullshit. Post it.”
“No, seriously, I can’t —”
“Then post some character sketches. Post anything. Show that you’re actually doing something and not just talking about doing something.”
It was at that point that I gave in.
So while I still don’t think I’ll be posting those scenes I wrote the other night — they really and truly give away the big ending and some major plot points — Brian’s executive decision will be enacted. I’ll start trying writing some bits and pieces of stories that I can actually post here. I make no guarantees about their quality just yet, but at least it’ll be proof that I’m gravitating more toward the “Do” than the “Do Not.”
Stay tuned.
Link: How Never To Reach Your Goals
Thursday, May 25th, 2006 @ 11:29 am
Achieve-IT! lists ten methods for making sure that you never, ever reach your goals. I think that these “tips” were supposed to be funny, but I couldn’t find my way to the laughing for all of the crying I was doing. I’ve consistently done every single one of the items on this list for years.
8. List why it’s impossible - Now we are getting into the mental game of failing. This is quite possibly your greatest weapon against achievement because it destroys hope and optimism. So as soon as possible, set aside some time to create a long list of how impossible your goal really is. No matter what your target is, I am sure you can come up with plenty of reasons why it’s impossible.
I’ve been reading and thinking quite a bit about my goals (or lack thereof) lately, but sometimes it takes this kind of slap in the face — to have someone hold up a mirror showing exactly how well you’re not doing — to make any real impact.
So excuse me, but I have to go write up some more goals now.
Do The Things You Cannot Do
Tuesday, May 9th, 2006 @ 5:18 pm
One of those Messages from the Universe I’d talked about on Sunday arrived in my mental inbox a few minutes ago, and this time it was pretty easy to decypher the message’s meaning. In the last twenty minutes, I’ve read two articles (including this one by Kathy at Creating Passionate Users) that both boiled down to the same basic premise, one which resonates pretty strongly with me: Sometimes you’ve got to do the scary, you’ve got to push yourself farther than you think you’re capable, you’ve got to do that thing you think you cannot do.
I admit that I tend to get a bit too comfortable with most things. I find myself happy with a situation — or, at the very least, not unhappy — and don’t want to change it. Change and I aren’t the most bosom of buddies: I order the lasagna from every Italian restaurant I go to because I’m pretty damn sure I’ll like the lasagna. I’m a big proponent of safety and security and familiarity, and while those qualities have their merits, they close me off to so much of what the world has to offer. (I suppose I should say I close myself offto so much of what the world has to offer.)
I know that I tend to talk myself out of doing a lot of things I want to do but just don’t think I can — either I’m down on my own abilities or I think the topic under consideration just isn’t feasible. And basically what that comes down to in all cases is, unsurprisingly, fear. I’m so afraid even to try $thing that I quit the race before I’ve even laced up my sneakers.
And I’m not even just talking being afraid of The Big Things — I’m afraid of doing Little Things, even ones that might advance my goals or enrich my life if I’d just not be quite such a coward and do them. One online buddy of mine recently jumped out of a friggin’ plane to raise money for a good cause, and I have trouble sacking up the courage to make a phone call? (What kills me is that I’m afraid of stupid little things like phone calls and meeting new people, but big decisions like getting married, buying a house, having kids? No problem.)
Kathy touches on a point which hits painfully close to home when she says that, just like anything else, doing scary things takes practice. One of the biggest reasons (though far from the only reason) why I don’t do more boundary pushing is because I’m not used to doing it. There’s a particular feeling that I get when I know I’m doing something new to me: my hands start shaking, my skin feels cold, my brain ratchets up into hyper-sensitive mode (though I have trouble speaking clearly). And honestly, I don’t much like those sensations. Those new-thing feelings tend to be so intense that they leave me shaken for awhile afterwards. Even when the experience or the results have been worth it — which they almost always have been — I don’t like that feeling, and it makes me not want to do it again. (”It” in this case is “trying new things,” not the thing that now isn’t new; having done that thing, I’m usually less reticent to do it the next time.)
Obviously, some people get off on whatever sensations new experiences bring on for them, and I’m curious as to why that is. I don’t know if other people get an entirely different set of physiological responses than I do… or if they just intrepret similar responses in an entirely different manner. I’m sure that Kathy’s point about practice feeds in here: the more you try new things, the more practice you get at managing your responses to said new things, which should, in theory, make doing new things less scary in the future.
And I want things to be less scary. This fear is as baffling as it is crippling, and I’m tired of feeling crippled by my own insecurities. I’m obviously one of the primary role models for my children, and this certainly isn’t a trait I want to pass on to them; I don’t want fear to control their lives the way it’s controlled so much of mine. I want them to be strong and capable and confident and to face the world with their chins held high and just a touch of an “I can do anything” glint in their beautiful blue eyes. And if I truly want that for them… why wouldn’t I want the same for me?
So how about you? Is there anything you’ve always wanted to try but think is too far beyond your reach even to give it a shot? What is it you think you can’t do?
And what’s really stopping you?
